Our Family

July 2, 2018May 2, 2019

Some Really Big News!

Actually, the news is a little old now, but life has been
so busy I didn’t get a chance to write a blog post about it!

In January 2017, we got a call in the middle of a snowstorm about a newborn at the hospital that was being placed into foster care. We said “Yes!” but had to wait more than a day until the storm ended and the roads were safe enough to go pick him up. He was a little tiny thing, weighing just about 6 lbs.

But he didn’t stay tiny for very long…

He grew…

And he grew…

And he grew!

And now he is ours for keeps!

I can’t begin to explain how much of a relief it is to see the final adoption papers come in the mail! Even on our craziest days, in our most-tired moments, I truly believe that God hand-picked these two totally-opposite-in-every-way-boys out to be brothers forever.

To be our boys.

And all these kiddos, from the east coast to the west, to be family.

And… the minute this picture was snapped at Christmas,
it was already “out of date”…
There’s another GRANDGIRL coming this month!

We need another PINK sweatshirt!

October 4, 2016May 2, 2019

Finding Your “Why”…

Sometimes there’s a really good reason to slow down.

The clearing of your schedule,
and the decluttering of your days,
and the un-obligating of your time
can be for a specific purpose…

Your “why.”

And sometimes it takes a while to figure out what your “why” is.

For many years, my days were filled with simply living life with my family. When things got too busy, we trimmed back activities so we could live more purposefully. But as the girls grew older and eventually married and moved away, my days filled up with many different things. At first it was the incredible opportunities that came our way as a family and the many activities that come with teenagers and young adults. And weddings! And then there was finally time to start working on my art again, and to explore some things I had always wanted to do, and to finish my college degree. All good things, but for about five years, I seriously overloaded myself. I rarely said “No” to anything, and eventually I was in way over my head. And I do not swim very well… literally or figuratively. It was beyond the back float, beyond treading water. More like a furious doggy-paddle to get to the side of the pool, but the current was way too strong. Somebody needed to throw me a floatie. And fast.

I knew deep down that I wanted my “empty nest” years to be just as fulfilling and purposeful as the filled-up nest years… but how and what and who were the big questions. It sure wasn’t a filled-to-the-brim calendar, or a massive to-do list, or packing and traveling to shows, because those things were draining me. So I started praying, and reading, and thinking, and journaling, and blogging, and eventually began paring back the things that weren’t necessary so I could have time for my “why,” whatever it was.

I knew I loved working with kids, but wasn’t sure how that could fit in this stage of life. Teaching art classes or Sunday school? Helping homeschool families? Volunteering with 4-H? A full-time job as a teacher?

And then we had the wonderful opportunity to babysit a tiny little girl… sometimes even overnight… and a light bulb went on. Hubby and I absolutely loved having kids around, and we realized that kids were what this home needed. And we soon discovered there were lots of kids that needed a home. So we made a phone call, sent some emails, attended an information session, and suddenly found ourselves taking classes, being home studied, and finally approved to be foster parents. And life has not been the same since.

It has been the hardest “job” I’ve ever had, but also the simplest. You have to ride a crazy roller coaster of emotions and behaviors and visits and court appearances and doctor appointments, but you also have to just plain love on them like they are your own and make lots of peanut butter sandwiches.

And that empty calendar is needed, because a phone call can come at the most unexpected time. A fellow foster mom might need a weekend away. Or a social worker needs to place a child tonight… “Do you have room in your home… in your schedule… in your heart?”

And there is still balance to be sought… There must be time for your kids and grandkids, for your family and friends, and for your church family, for yourself and for your spouse. Sometimes the pendulum swings far in one direction, and then way back to the other side, but knowing your “why” helps keep it ticking away gently in the center.

What is your “why?”

June 6, 2016May 2, 2019

Our Second Rodeo…

One of our dearest. lifelong friends…
(You have some of those, don’t you?
If not, you need to start cultivating some!
They come in handy later on!)
…has a saying when it comes to raising their second crop of kiddos…

This ain’t our first rodeo.

It makes me laugh every time I hear it, and now I’m finding
that Hubby and I spit it out every once in a while, especially when we’re feeling pretty confident and experienced about being a mom and dad!

But sometimes it still sort of feels like the first time we climbed on the back of that bucking bronco called parenting. Because they’re all different kids who have their own unique personalities. Because they don’t come with an instruction manual. Because the first two were girls and now there are a LOT of Matchbox cars around here. Because I’m not twenty-something this time around. Because how in the world do you fold up this stroller ?!?!? Because foster care and adoption can change your family dynamics for a day… a weekend… a few months… or forever!

Really loving that forever part!
🙂

Getting back in the saddle, though, has forced me to put into use all those one-liners I randomly toss at my girls about being a mom so I can practice what I preach. It has put me back on my knees daily… especially when I get bucked off and land on my backside. (This might be taken literally as well as figuratively. You are welcome to donate Tylenol and Icy Hot.) It has made me realize just how wise our parents and grandparents were, and made me ashamed for the many times I brushed off their wisdom as “old fashioned.” It has forced Hubby and I to go searching through our own dusty-attic-brains for the timeless truths and ancient wisdom we finally learned about parenting, and then packed up neatly into storage bins.

I have always admired the moms with 3 or 4… or 6… or a dozen kids, who slowly build their arsenal of child-raising techniques. They are truly experts at their craft, able to come up with an activity out of their heads that will entertain both toddlers and teens for an entire afternoon, while simultaneously handling housework, cooking dinner, and running a home business. I want to be that mom. However, when you raise two closely spaced kiddos and then jump off the saddle for a decade or two, you can expect a few bruises when you climb back on. (You mean you’d like dinner AND clean socks?)So, I thought maybe it would help someone else if we made a list of parenting wisdom as it comes back to us!

In no certain order…

Take naps. (One of those “old fashioned ideas” I brushed off as a young mom. Seriously. Do this.)
A package of Dollar Store pom-poms and a muffin tin go a long way.
Strong, sturdy, sippy cups with non-removable lids. (No explanation needed.)
Consistency, consistency, consistency. Be consistent about this.
Pray. A lot. Get friends to pray for you too.
Be Present.
Pick your battles wisely.
Make friends with “Boy Moms.” They are Very Very Wise.
Limit the toy stash… Rotate if needed.
It’s okay to be “old school.”

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him,
and He shall bring it to pass.
~Psalm 37:5~

May 9, 2016May 2, 2019

Off to California… And Back Again!

We just got back from a two week visit to see our California girl, Jo, her hubby Luke, and their little men. Two of which are not so little any more. They grow up way too fast, and when you only get to see them once a year or so, boy, do they change by leaps and bounds!

It was a long trip, but TJ did really well on the trip out.

The terrain is soon different from the east coast!

But trekking all the way across the country is
worth it if you get to see these smiling faces!

We hung out at home a lot…

Ate yummy food…

Explored a little…

Got up close and personal with nature…

Tackled a project…

Got creative…

And played hard.

I think it took us three entire days to get back into Delaware time!

The journey home is always bittersweet…
It’s good to be back where you belong,
but hard when you left part of your heart
on the other side of the country!

April 4, 2016May 2, 2019

What We’ve Been Up to…

This pretty much sums it up!

This little man came into our lives, along with three brand new grandbabies, so our days have been filled with bottles and diapers and a whole lot of fun!

TJ came to us at 27 days old, as a foster care placement,
and decided he wanted to stay forever! Our adoption was finalized
in March, so we’re finally able to show him to the world!

July 27, 2014May 7, 2021

Finding Our Rhythm…

This has been an interesting year.

For our family, it began with cleaning up from the Holidays…

A January remodeling project for our family room…

A February trip to California and more remodeling…

Coming home to get back to normal in March…

And within a couple of weeks, the entire world came screeching to a halt.

We half-heartedly finished our homeschool year while trying to adjust to online therapies, no field trips or friends, barely seeing family members, no church, no shopping, no meals out, no park days.

Just like the rest of the world.

Don’t get me wrong… there has been plenty to be thankful for during this craziness.

I am thankful that we were already homeschooling. I can only imagine the shock this has been for families, children, and teachers whose world was suddenly turned upside down mid-March.

I am thankful that we live in a semi-rural area, in the middle of 10 acres, right next to my parents. We had plenty of space to walk, look at nature, and sit outside with Nana & Pop-Pop.

I am thankful that our church… and many others… offered online services during the worst of the pandemic. And I’m thankful that we were able to worship together as soon as we could, because church is essential.

I am especially thankful that as the restrictions began to lessen, our daughter’s family and ours decided to be each other’s “quarantine buddies.” Since early June, we girls have been hanging out, and the kids have had friends and a change of scenery.

I am thankful that my grandkids had the option to homeschool this year. Even though their plans were to go to the sweet school right around the corner from their home, the thought of masks all day and virtual learning for most of the week seemed foreign. Since their Mama had been homeschooled, making that decision didn’t feel like they were jumping off a cliff.

And now we’re a few weeks into our school year together… trying to find our rhythm. It’s been a bit bumpy, but it’s been a wild ride since March, so bumpy isn’t too bad.

July 25, 2014December 27, 2019

The Last Six Weeks

The Last Six Weeks have involved…

(in no particular order)

(actually in a random-what-in-the-world
sort of order even though I planned things to
be done very quickly and fastly and orderly)

(Spellcheck doen NOT like the non-word “fastly.”)

Okay… here’s the list…

Moving the fridge into a new kitchen.

Moving the freezer into the family room.

Moving the freezer into the new kitchen.

Moving the stove into the new kitchen.

Moving a huge section of our old kitchen
cabinets into the new kitchen.

Creating a giant hole in the old kitchen
where the old cabinets used to be.

Needing to re-tile a floor.

Needing to build a wall.

Needing to build upper cabinets
in the new kitchen.

Putting together two sets of bunk beds.

Filling them with a variety of children.

Nine children , to be exact, in various configurations.

Lego’s, Barbies, Disney movies, kiddie pools,
the park, the beach, the state fair,
play-dough, trains, dolls, and balls.

Nosebleeds, bruised shins, fevers,
arthritis, coughs, and a bad sore throat.

Not quite enough time with my new grandboy.
Or to chat with my big grand boys.
Or with my girls or my mom or my BFF’s.

Finding out some things that I just can’t handle.
And some things I thought I couldn’t handle but did.
And lived to laugh about it.
And also to cry about it.

Feeling like I wasn’t able to help those around me
because I was helping those around me.

And most of all, learning to make do at the moment,
to adapt where needed, ignore the imperfect,
and take a nap whenever possible.

And then, just when the house was quiet again…
…although the dust hasn’t settled yet…
…and probably won’t for a while…

… a wonderful GIFT came in the mail…

Mary Ostyn from Owl Haven
emailed me a week or so ago to let me know
that I had won a give-away on her blog!

A brand new copy of Myquillyn Smith’s
(a.k.a The Nester)
new book…

The Nesting Place!!!

Let me tell, that book came at just the right time.
Coupled with some strong coffee, it was just what I needed
to gather my gumption and begin to put my imperfectly
messy (and slightly sticky) home back together.

(Heavy on the “begin” part, mind you, because the
aforementioned sore throat belongs to me.
So some of the gumption is only in my head.)

I’m reading… and re-reading… every page of this decorating book
that was written for those of us who have lived-in homes.
(Which is funny, because I’m a “picture-looker-atter”
when it comes to decorating books… not usually a reader!)

So thank-you-thank-you-thank-you-thank-you
to Mary and Myquillyn for the much needed picker-upper!!!